Thursday, October 29, 2009

$1 Chicken, Incredibly Stupid Woman

So as you may or may not know, Boston Market is offering a 3-piece chicken meal w/ cornbread and mashed potatoes. I found this out at work while doing some mad IT troubleshooting (mostly, 'why can't I print my coupon?' "Well, because everybody wants free chicken (remember that recession?) so the world is trying to go to Boston's website and it just shit itself.")

So I found a mirror of the coupon for the sake of customer service... then I went and ate some fuckin one dollar chicken.

I went to get my chicken and I encountered easily the most ridiculous situation I've been in in a while. Three people were involved. The dude @ Boston Market taking the order, the woman in front of me in line, and myself. The dialogue follows.

Dude: [to woman] Hi, what do you want?
Woman: [holding up handful of coupons] I have seven of these, I need seven.
D: Sorry, but it's one coupon per person.
W: Okay fine [then getting on her cellphone]
D: So, what do you want?
W: Chicken
D: White or Dark?
W: Huh?
D: White or Dark?
W: What?
D: [getting visibly agitated] What kind of meat do you want? White or Dark?
W: I have no idea what you're asking me.
D: White? or Dark?
W: Chicken
D: Yes, but white or dark?
W: [holding up coupon] I want chicken.
D: White meat or dark meat?
W: What does that mean?
W: [turning to me] I have no idea what he is asking me.
Me: Do you want white or dark meat?
W: What does that even mean?
Me: It's different parts of the chicken, white meat or dark meat.
W: Ummm Okay.
D: So, white or dark?
W: Dark.


I ask for my white meat chicken and move forward to the dreaded POTATO STATION.

At this point, the dude has had enough of this woman so he recruits someone else to scoop the potatoes.
Potato Woman: Do you want gravy?
W: I want potatoes
P: But do you want gravy on them?
W: I want them mashed
P: Great, you're getting gravy

For fucks sake, I wish I was making this shit up. It's easily the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed. Who the fuck doesn't know what White or Dark means? Has this woman never seen a chicken? Is she from space? I genuinely do not know what was going through her head. Unless the mere fact that she couldn't use seven motherfucking coupons totally blew her mind into oblivion and I was witnessing her picking up the pieces.

Holy shit.
On that note, I ate my dollar chicken and it was good. The mashed potatoes, however, were subpar.

On a related note of stupidity...

No, these people aren't about to have an epic lightsaber battle. They're preparing to go Cross Country Walking. That's right, walking, with STICKS! Who needs skis? Not these people... guess what, you look like douchebags.

PS: If you wanna rock some cheap chicken, holler:

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Four years later.

Shit's been busy, okay, so I haven't updated.

Not like the whole zero readers have really been clamoring for a new post.

Well, let me tell you a story. A story about the land of Milkquarious.
Scope that shit here:

Also, if you're down with the equestrian shit, you can always get on my horse.