Tuesday, March 16, 2010

And you wonder why people pirate stuff.

Internet piracy is a pretty important part of many people's lives these days. Each separate industry only exists to fuck us and get rich. The two worst offenders are the MPAA and RIAA. Both need to be disbanded immediately.

Consider this. You decide to go out to see a movie. You pay your ass-ton of money, sit in your seat and start watching the movie, right? NO! You have to first sit through commercials. Now there have been attempts to prevent this from happening. The idea is that when you are at home, commercials are on, but you can change the channel or whatever... at the movie theater, changing the channel is no longer an option. The people who are advertising are advertising to a captive audience. You gotta sit there, no real choice in the matter (unless you hang out in the lobby and then you lose your seat to some prick.) Shortly after the commercials, the most offensive part of movie-going occurs... propaganda. It seems like you can't go to a movie now without seeing recruiting films for the armed forces. The fact that I have to PAY to see a National Guard or Army Reserves recruitment film (often set to some atrocious band that should've died in 2002... I'm looking at YOU, NICKELBACK) is totally not okay in my book.

After 10 minutes of commercials/propaganda and 25 minutes of mediocre previews, the movie starts. HOLY SHIT! Unfortunately, that's when the guy behind you with sleep apnea starts snoring and some asshole kid starts talking ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE!

Guess what? I can sit on my couch and enjoy a movie without any of the bullshit and wallet raping and enjoy a beer or three. No thanks.

Of course, home entertainment is not without problems too. Recently, a brilliant cartoon was released and it absolutely captures my thoughts.

See, you buy a DVD and that's what you have to deal with. Bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit. Okay, so you get a NetFlix subscription, so yea, you still need to sit through the crap, but at least you didn't drop 20 bucks buying the DVD (or a rental... last time I looked at Blockbuster, it was $6.99 for a new release, are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!) but now the movie companies are crying like little bitches because "nobody is buying our shit anymore!" so they decided to fuck NetFlix. Now the studios can enact a delay on new releases before they go to NetFlix. Wanna see that new movie? Gotta wait a couple weeks, bitch. Thanks to Warner Bros. for setting that dangerous precedent. You could always stream something off NetFlix, which is awesome, but their selection needs some help.

So you download your movies. Super high-quality downloads in a matter of minutes at times... do whatever you want now. Hey movie industry! Want us to stop downloading your IP, stop fucking with the legitimate stuff! Look at China. Bootlegging is so huge there that companies have started undercutting the bootleggers to sell their legit shit...

TV is officially fucked now too. As of today, Comcast has removed 14 channels from their analog cable. Want those back? Time to upgrade to digital cable. Fuck off.

I'm running out of steam here so I'll wrap it up. If you want people to actually support you, stop fucking the consumer over. Keep it up and you'll see how badly internet piracy can really ruin you.