Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My thoughts on the iPad

Okay, okay, menstrual jokes aside, Apple's iPad was supposedly this super revolutionary product that would change the computing world forever. This was supposed to be Steve Jobs' ticket to superstardom, or whatever.

Instead, what we get is a giant iPod Touch... quite literally.
My iPhone has more functionality than this thing... like the ability to take pictures and, y'know, call people.

The first issue is that, rather than loading it with a slimmed down version of OS X, it is instead utilizing the iPhone OS. That OS leave quite a lot to be desired. I've had an iPhone for 3 years and the inability to multitask (save for a handful of Apple branded apps) can be incredibly problematic. To bring that same shortcoming to the 'do everything magic tablet' is inexcusable.

Oh yea, Apple needs to cool it with the fuckin dongles. You need one to do EVERYTHING now. The iPad only has a 30-pin dock connector, no native USB, SD card, etc. If you want to plug ANYTHING into it, you gotta shell out an extra 20 or whatever bucks for the USB dongle.

I get it, Jony Ive is a fuckin design rockstar, but occasionally, form needs to follow function. It seems that functionality of a product is often secondary to the form factor. Look at the newest iPod Shuffle. They can't make it any thinner because it needs to support a 1/8" stereo mini jack (and the day that I need a dongle to plug in headphones is the day that I move into a cave) so the only way they could make it smaller was to ELIMINATE ALL OF THE BUTTONS! How do you control it now? Oh, you use our headphones (which are subpar) or talk to it. I love gadgets and all, but whispering sweet nothings into my iPod's ear is where I draw the line. This trend of making things smaller, but then having to shoehorn a way to actually make it work is a dangerous one. I fear to see what's next.

Apple tried this before, it was called the Newton... that too was a pretty big failure; sadly, I don't foresee this taking off. I guess it's kinda cool, in a way, but think for a minute... is this a product that you NEED in your life? Probably not. The only people who will be buying this are the total Apple whores and old people with disposable income who don't want a computer because they're too scary.

I have more to say, but I fear this is already borderline unreadable (or at the very least, uninteresting) so I'll stop here.

Oh, I almost forgot. Everyone's favorite nerd-punk frontman and fake jingle writer, Parry Gripp also put down his iPad thoughts in a more melodic way... and, let's be honest, way better than mine.


Tomas said...

Please allow me to just post a quick text message exchange between a friend (Will) and myself (Tom) on the evening the iPad was released. I think it covers my thoughts in the fewest possible words. :)

Will: Is it just me of is the ipad a huge ipod that is just another useless in between device?

Tom: It's an XXL iPod...

Will: Yup. What I expected. U?

Tom: As an eBook reader, I'll stick with my nook because it is easier on eyes.

Will: And lighter

Tom: As a 'puter it is underpowered.

Will: Yeah. Only kinds cool thing is apple built the cpu

Tom: As an iPod it is too big - not pocketable.

Tom: As an iPhone it is too big and doesn't even make calls.

Tom: It doesn't even have a camera.

Tom: It will sell well.

Tom: Sigh.

Will: I know. I didn't expect much. Ppl got waywayway too excited for it

BTW, I've been an Apple user since 1986 (UNIX since '81), but I don't have an iPod or iPhone...


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