Monday, September 13, 2010

Holy shit, that's some serious packaging.

So my friend Tom just got a new apartment. I went along with him to Ikea, Home Depot and Target with the ultimate goal of building some furniture and at the very least prime some of the rooms for paint.

First off, Ikea is fucking insanity on a Sunday, we waited in the parking lot until Detroit's almost touchdown was overturned and then entered the fray. Two things to note: 1. Swedish meatballs are fucking epic. 2. You know a store is crazy when a chick says "I'm about at the edge here and I just want to start punching people." Awesome.

Packed up his Jeep... naturally, that flat pack shit is just too long, so we tie the tailgate down. Off to Binny's for beer.
[Sidenote: I am now the Foursquare Mayor of 3 liquor stores, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm sure it has something to do with my previous post...]
As we turned left onto North, the loose stuff (garbage cans, hangers) slid to the open tailgate. Shit was precarious, but holding on like a champ... until a block later when the garbage cans fell out. We retrieved them as we got to the red light. Naturally, I said "Well, at least the beer is okay." And it was, momentarily. Two blocks later, Tom must've forgotten about the half open tailgate, he accelerated a bit too quickly and the case of High Life fell out of the motherfucking car (along with the garbage cans again). The reaction was quite urgent. "DUDE, WE JUST LOST THE FUCKING BEER!" Pull over laughing and run to retrieve the landmine we just left on Harlem.

Now I don't know what it is, but that 30 pack must be made from the most epic waxed cardboard ever, because the case survived, intact, with nothing more than a superficial wound.

I mean, seriously? That's impressive. The garbage cans sustained more significant damage. Not a single beer lost. Well done, Miller.

I'd also like to say that Target is a demonic money sucking pit of convenience. What other store do you get to the checkout, say "Oh shit, I forgot to get garbage bags." leave the cart at the checkout and go to get bags... and then return with garbage bags and a goddamn drill? Target, that's where. It's like a bar with a 10 drink minimum, you just can't have a taste, you gotta get shitfaced.

Other than that, Smoque is some fucking amazing BBQ, go eat some.


Post a Comment